My husband is, among other things, a drug and alcohol counselor. In working with these families, one of the biggest challenges is breaking through the family system’s denial. The family adapts to the substance abuser and become co-addicts, the ones who make it all possible. If Mom is passed out on the front steps, they step over her and go into the house. Eventually, they help her inside and put her to bed to sleep it off. If Dad is cooking crack in the living room, maybe the toddler gets picked up and put in a playpen or crib so as to be kept safe…then again, maybe not. If he is too ‘sick’ to go to work, someone else in the family calls in sick for him. When the children’s friends come over to play or to watch TV together, and there are empty bottles all over the place, no one in the family even notices what it is that their friends are staring at. Jobs are habitually lost. Groceries don’t get bought. Clothes are not washed. Food is not prepared regularly. We worked with a five year old girl ‘sold’ to her Mother’s dealer for sex so that she could be kept in drugs.
Denial. What is that family pretending not to know? This family system does not work, and everyone in it suffers. No one’s life works. None of these people are ‘bad’. The system is bad, however, and unless and until they choose to open their eyes and see what is happening, choose to see ‘the elephant in the living room’ that is obvious to everyone who is outside of this family system, nothing changes.
This week, we were asked to consider that question for ourselves.
What am I pretending not to know?
The consequences of refusing to see ourselves clearly, of choosing to NOT be 100% responsible for our lives, of hiding from our life purpose, of living in fear of our magnificence, probably does not result in the kind of personal and family destruction described above.
But what is it that my family will never have the opportunity to experience because of my fear? What contribution to my community cannot be made because of my fear? What legacy for all of humanity goes unfulfilled because of my fear? What lie am I having to live because of my fear?
What am I pretending not to know?
I want to say “Thank You” to the Great MKMMA Adventure, for awakening to all of us on this Hero’s Journey the possibility of living into our greatness.
We are powerful beyond measure.
That is who God created us to be.
Live it.
Let it Shine!
Valeska…I am so proud to know you! Such a powerful blog!
I am humbled and filled with gratitude that you found value in my blog, Lydia. God bless you!
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What a wonderful reminder. We are powerful beyond measure. I love it! Great post and thank you for sharing.
Val, this is an amazing and right-to-the-heart post. It’s an honest to God privilege to count you as my Friend.
Thank you!
I am not in the Master Mind program but I find it incredibly interesting to read the blogs of the current participants. What i realized is that our mind is trying to hide something from us. It may try to hide our weaknesses, but it may also obscure our brilliance. You can definitely see it. Great read, Valeska!
What important work and such important questions in your blog. I am humbled and grateful for the work that you and your husband are doing.
Thank you so very much. Our vision is to teach and train people to build on what works, as the MKMMA Experience is doing with each of us. The road we take is different, but the end result of compass driven lives is the same.
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“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate,
but that we are powerful beyond measure.” – Love that clip, thank you!
Wow. What a correlation you’ve laid out here. I need to work on getting that elephant out of my living room!! Thanks for the insight!!